Brad Henning in his presentation on the differences between men and women describes a study done at Washington State University to determine how sex influences how men think. A room was constructed with various pieces of furniture, a woman sitting in a chair in the far corner, and a single door. Fifty college age men were asked to participate in this study. They were given a clip board; the door was opened to them for 10 seconds. They then had to describe the room. The first male described all the furniture and hardly mentioned the woman in the corner. With each subsequent man, she raised her skirt a couple of inches. The higher her skirt went, the less furniture the men would remember. So much so that by the fiftieth man, her skirt was above her waist and he didn’t even see the furniture. The result of the story was, and as Brad Henning explained, is that the more sex enters into a relationship there will be less relationship and more sex.
In his book “Why Gender Matters”, in its very disturbing chapter on teenage sexual activity, Leonard Sax observes the casual nature of sex among teenagers and its impact on their development. He describes casual sex as among other things “grinding” where a girl dances with a boy with her back to him. There is no emotional contact at all. What is sad is the equally devastating impact this has on both the girls and boys. Both genders start building the habit of casually changing partners which carry on into married life and the increased rate of divorce. Girls feel exploited, treated as objects. However, boys are emotionally devastated as well with first an emotional disconnect from their girlfriend but later from their spouses. Boys receive emotional support from their mothers and then their wives. Both genders tend to become emotionally stunted throughout their adulthood.
Philippians 2 talks about being “… blameless and innocent, children of God above reproach in the midst of a crooked and perverse generation…”. The challenge lies in the fact that sexual messages are pervasive; so much so that ordinary words take on double meanings that have sexual connation which are then subsequently published in places like the urbandictionary.com. One must intentionally choose not to be immersed; one must be intentional in what one watches, reads or listens to. For people who want to “walk worthy of the calling” (Eph 4:1) this is a counter cultural choice, and sometimes among Christians.
Given my own experience with sexual sin in my youth, this highly sexualize culture is toxic. The only way to not succumb to its pernicious influence is disciplined vigilance; that is to put “make a pact with the eyes not to look at anyone lustfully”. And like Paul says in Philippians, determine what to think on – things that are pure and good. Those things begin with the Word of God and those words go deep into the soul where one is tempted to lust. And to determine to live by the Spirit through Whom we do not fulfill the lusts of the flesh.
Thankfully, God has made Himself available to humanity and made a way of escape from sexual temptation. I once watched a movie in which sexual violence occurred. I felt contaminated and was incapable of getting the images out of my mind. I read scripture until those images disappeared and could not hold me in bondage to them. I truly felt clean. I would like to experience God in increasing intimacy, and choose to make decisions that will make place for that, especially decisions for purity.
